writing – moiettoi

The Obstacle is the Path?

L: Here we go.. haven’t even started our collaborative writing that I am already getting told off., ‘Are you drinking caffeinated tea after 6pm??’

B: Well…. Sleep protocols are important

L: Date is set : 23rd of September. I am moving to New Zealand

I started writing the first couple of lines of this blog waiting for Rebekah who’s having dinner. We decided to write this one together.

In the meantime I’m going through my phone while listening to my favorite French singer, a medley of his 50 most beautiful songs.

Going through my pictures from a couple of years ago I came across the ones I took on the Pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela. It is a real pleasure to revive these memories as specific events happened every day.

Walking long distances (weeks long I mean), is a meditative life changing experience..

Reflecting on how much I would love to have a walking experience with Rebekah and write about it as a journaling exercise..

Bex:

I would love to do a long walk somewhere, maybe even just start somewhere with no destination in mind.

This past weekend has been another internal journey of sorts. I attended a beginners Reiki course. Strong Universal guidance was coming through for me that the Universe Does Not Get It Wrong, and that The Obstacle is the Path. I have had a bout of laryngitis since last Thursday, and have not been able to talk easily. During the course I had three coughing fits at inopportune times, once during meditation, once during attunement, and once during our shared Reiki session. I feel as if my body is catching up with all the inner work that I have been doing and my Throat Chakra, my voice and identity is still being worked on. The Obstacle is the Path seems like a message that I need to figure out. Our dream is to write, run retreats, run online businesses, live on a farm in the woods near the beach, with my Children, a Dog and other animals. So is the Obstacle my current work? Is the Obstacle the location? Is the Obstacle finances? So many thoughts and learning.

L: This is a dream we share, we have a mutual vision towards our future and projects. I would add to the goals manifestation, a life punctuated by travels: exploration of ancient Sacred sites, meeting different cultures’ wisdom to feed on to integrate to our Inner discovery. Soul journeys incorporated into Human incarnation to write about… Transcribing the content of these tales alongside my Soulmate might even be a life purpose? The manifestation of our projects is to start to work on this right now. It is an everyday process, everyday is a new step towards our goals.

B: How do we get there? Stay tuned while we figure it out…

A challenging week

It has been a challenging week. My child has had some challenges. I’m putting it out to the universe that they will find their place. I’m here, and so are many who love him. I see he has an army of guides and angels behind him.

This has happened while I’ve been premenstrual and now menstrual, a low energy part of my cycle, so I’m extra tired. I’ve been grateful for the support around me, my parents, my friends, and my Love. It’s a challenge for me because I like to do things on my own, to make sure that I can do things on my own. However, the village is always there when I need it and I really appreciate it. So much.

There has been progress on the visa application, which is promising. And there have been times of light throughout the dark, and I am grateful.

Lucas

We are now getting closer. The visa application we submitted in early August has been denied for the work side of it. After making a few modifications and providing some more documents to the Immigration, we have finally been granted a Visitor Visa, which will allow us to live together for a decent amount of time while we gather the missing pieces to fit into the partnership work visa.

This is already a win for us, this journey is teaching us to receive, appreciate and be grateful for the small steps.

I guess a part of what we are experiencing now is to work on the will to receive without having expectations and cultivate gratitude regardless. Without expectations, no frustration, right ? Easy to say, beautiful to read. For a human being incarnated in this life, what exercise to practice..

Wisdom teaching from the Universe is most certainly humbling.

On a different note, we have booked our first trip together!

70,000 years

Seven months in this life; 70,000 years approximately all up. Life after life, learning after learning, finding each other time and time. Even still, it is possible to miss each other in this lifetime. We miss each other physically, because we are apart, and we also miss each other’s intentions at times.

There has been a strong spiritual energy around in recent days, and a huge amount has happened. There have been many amazing events that have happened:

Lucas talked to my parents (amazing connection).
Lucas listed my car for sale and is helping me purchase another one, whilst in another country.
Lucas finished his job abruptly because he was offered a better one and suddenly had to move accommodation, this meant he had to stay with a dear friend for a few days.
I have had general life busyness; exercise, work, housework, maintaining friendships and relationships, friends having challenges and trying to support as best I can.
Son turning 15!
Navigating preteen and teenager emotions.
Navigating a new job and figuring out the priorities for the first few months.

Lucas :

Reading Rebekah’s writing reminds me of a vision I had a couple of weeks ago. We were talking about past lives together and memories of it.

Following the course of events that happened recently have been a bit of a marathon.

Through the entire process there has been an omnipresent guidance from Higher Energies.

For starters, the conversation with Rebekah’s parents (mentioned in the previous publication).

Communication is a Blessing.

When Rebekah’s parents asked for a bit of time to consider the phone call I have to admit that i felt a bit unsettled, my mind started pulling different kind of triggers.

Suddenly I recovered a glimpse of a conversation we had on another plane, a higher dimension before this current incarnation.

Communication didn’t take place with words but a higher form of energetically, Soul conversation.

-« I will come find you

-I will wait for you »

I am ready

Lucas

This past week has been hectic.. Right now, I feel like sitting in silence for the next 10 upcoming days.

We finalized the application for the partnership visa. Few documents and medical checkups were missing, we now complied with everything so far and the application is getting processed by the Immigration services.

The following event was to reach out to Rebekah’s father.

Her parents are struggling to accept me. Why ? Because of my age. The pace of our relationship raises concerns and worries. Love happening too fast.. Is it a thing ?

Seeing Rebekah torn between judgments and resentment from her parents I asked her what could I do in this situation.

She said : « what just sprung up is a bit weird, but you could talk to my dad »

(See messages shared in Groundless)

I already wanted to a few weeks ago, when still in New Zealand, to get a chance to open myself to them and pour my heart out.

I can put myself in their shoes and understand quite a lot. The only thing I’m asking for is a chance to be myself, to have time and space to show myself loud and clear before getting judged or facing resentment..

Who knows.. In their hearts, deep down themselves they might have already welcomed me.

Time will tell.

I Surrender.

The conversation with Rebekah’s father is leading towards a phone call. At the moment it’s logistically complicated to organize a conversation face to face as I remain in Australia.

The last main event (but not least), is my work situation. The place I’m working for at the moment has changed a lot and seemingly lost some human values. I don’t recognize it anymore.

I feel some strong guidance here. Entering a shifting process that is opening the path towards my goals. I feel this period of change as a message from the Universe. It is time for an internal change and here are the prémisses.

Connect with my aim, surrender to my Intention.

I feel in the right place at the right time even though it’s a challenging position.

Shift operates for me to get rid of something to allow something better, greater, more aligned to come into my life.

My intention is to get out of the thoroughbred industry to focus on equine therapy. Healing with Horses.

Time to adapt. To find myself and feel myself.

The last time I experienced a similar shifting situation was a few days before I met Rebekah.. It led me to meet the Love of my Life.

It’s happening, we are growing, evolving, and it is happening fast.

I AM READY.

Bex

Wow… that’s a hard act to follow. So much internal navigation and reflection. I Love than man. I reflect on my journey, and conditioning. My mind has been worried about our Love not being accepted by people, my family in particular. It’s hard to describe how brave I think Lucas is for taking a step towards my parents. I feel that devotion and commitment deeply. I think that some of my fears about our relationship are being mirrored by my Mum and Dad, they have a deep love for me. Gabby Bernstein in her book Super Attractor emphasises that the energy we carry—especially fear—attracts matching experiences. If we have a fear of abandonment, failure, or unworthiness, we may unconsciously attract situations that reinforce those feelings, even in loving relationships. This is a big piece of inner work for me.

I have started a new job, and I have been reflecting on what should be my priorities for the first three months. And in addition to that, ensure that Lucas and I are working towards achieving what we must achieve in this life together. I figure that we surrender together and keep doing our inner work.

A question I have asked myself today, reflecting on the teachings of Dr Wayne Dyer, is how can I best serve the Universe?

Part of serving the Universe is being relentlessly true to myself, and my Knowing. I don’t know what the future holds. I know that not everyone will “get it”, and that’s ok. That really is ok. I surrender.

I know I am drawn to supporting women, and have always found opportunities to do this. I know I want to celebrate women, and provide insights and tools for long term health through the woman lifecycle. I know I want to create a sanctuary and space for people to safely retreat, and heal.

This is not a very funny blog entry, and we are not teasing each other about creatine or procrastinating, or losing each other at the airport, we are not working through any deep personal emotions, yet we are working through how we fit in the world as individuals and as a unit.

I AM READY TOO

Hide and seek

Friday afternoon, Rebekah is landing in 15 minutes. Message from her, my heart skips a beat, is she already there?? Have I missed her walking out the airport’s gates ???

No, I’m still on time, just a message that says she’s flying over Melbourne. She’s so close to land!! As I’m about to get dropped at the airport I look up and see a plane approaching the tarmac for landing. Think to myself. I think I saw your plane just now, you might be flying over my head.

Get dropped on time, the only thing I have to do now is wait for her to walk out the gates.

I am highly excited, I can’t wait to wrap my arms around her.

She texts and describes in detail how the airport sucks from lack of efficiency in the passport lanes.

I’ve seen every single passenger of every single plane that landed in the last hour walking out of these gates but her..

In an attempt to make her laugh and cope with the inefficient lanes I tease her with a few jokes, such as “did you have too many coffees or is it good ol’Bertha?”. Bertha is the name of her PMS…. Response:

You’re brave..

Throat tightens, have I awakened the beast?..

I focus on the gate, she’s walking out any moment now. But wait a second, there is another gate which other people come out of.

If I stop looking for a split second she’s gonna walk out, and if I’m staring at the wrong door I’m gonna miss her! What should I do?

No time to think, phone beeps again “where are you?”

No way, she hasn’t walked out yet, I scanned every single person walking before my eyes.

A dramatic scene is about to unfold here..

“I’m out, where are you?”

Mission failed, how could I have not noticed her walking out? She must have flown under the radar..

Phone rings :

– “Where are you?”

– “I’m standing by the gate waiting for you to walk out”.

– “I AM out” (describes where she is and it looks like exactly where I am too)

– “Do you see this person with the welcome sign?”

– “Yes I’m right next to him!”

I managed to identify her (finally) as I walked towards the sign, and then it hit me. She is so tiny that I couldn’t see her before the guy’s sign was hiding her.

I couldn’t see her walk out the gate because of her tininess. Someone walking beside her must have hidden her in a way that I couldn’t see.

That plus focusing on the joke making was a very efficient way to miss out on her..

So there is a tutorial if you ever wonder ‘how to miss your partner walking out of the airport’, results guaranteed.

Bex

Yes, it was hilarious that he didn’t see me walk out, perhaps I walked too fast or was camouflage.

This just makes for another fun memory for us. Over the past few months I have learnt to open up to a man like I never have before, this is the power of both of us being vulnerable and totally surrendering to Love. Scary? Fuck yes.

In a strange dynamic world, I have also had this dual experience happening where I have been grieving a marriage break up; house move and sale; trying to manage on my own. But more importantly, trying to navigate a sad daughter and a pushing-the-limits son. The son is coming into his own a bit and I see him stretching his creative wings, his independence, and starting to trust himself that he is good and has good ideas. I am teaching him to Love himself and I’m teaching him that adults are people too. We make mistakes, we hurt, we grieve, we get back up.

The daughter I’m trying to support with Love and fully accepting her journey, she finds it hard to accept the break up, and finds it hard to accept Lucas. This is obviously completely normal and understandable for a child. I sometimes feel as though I’m knocking on a glass door trying to reach her. I can see her, but not hold that little hurt spirit in a healing way. My intention is to continue to heal myself and to share all the Love and learning with her, and show her what it means to Love herself, by loving myself.

Lucas has good insight and we talk through everything, even when it’s confronting and painful, especially then…

And mostly I realise that he is the person I want to talk to the most.