Traveling together

R: I have been told that you don’t know someone until you go travelling together. During October, Lucas and I went to Lombok and Bali in Indonesia. We really had a great time. I preferred Lombok, we had a great experience there. We did yoga, and breathwork, and a practice called Family Constellations, an elemental cacao ceremony, great food, and some beautiful time together. I started to make a list of sweet things that Lucas has done for me:

  1. He walks closest to the road to protect me.
  2. He says ‘I don’t look at other girls’.
  3. He spoke lovingly about me with others at the Family Constellation session (which was vulnerable for both of us).
  4. He remembers my morning routines with pinpoint accuracy.
  5. He knows what to expect with my monthly cycle.
  6. He asked some French girls for some sanitary pads for me because they are very difficult to find in Lombok and expensive!
  7. He feeds me chips.
  8. He makes sure I have enough coffee.
  9. He looks at me lovingly.
  10. He offered me his own underwear and handkerchief when I got my period haha.

Its fair to say that I very much enjoyed travelling with him.

L: Uluwatu, Bali: It’s been a couple of weeks (again) since the last writing activity. Now we are connecting with our story telling, for the first time we are sitting together to lay down some content. Maybe I should say that we are making an attempt to, as technology is being fancy and seemingly not letting us access to what we intend to. Creative energy and modern technology aren’t always a match, something to remember. In the meantime we try to do what can be done with the available resources. 

I am writing down these few lines meanwhile Rebekah is spreading cards on the bed for a draw and channel some guidance for the day. Important thing to note, she is running at the moment on one (Bali) coffee only.. She is doing so well handling the frustration. Maybe it is time to get re-caffeinated before any further manoeuvre.

Hide and seek

Friday afternoon, Rebekah is landing in 15 minutes. Message from her, my heart skips a beat, is she already there??  Have I missed her walking out the airport’s gates ???

No, I’m still on time, just a message that says she’s flying over Melbourne. She’s so close to land!! As I’m about to get dropped at the airport I look up and see a plane approaching the tarmac for landing. Think to myself. I think I saw your plane just now, you might be flying over my head.

Get dropped on time, the only thing I have to do now is wait for her to walk out the gates.

I am highly excited, I can’t wait to wrap my arms around her. 

She texts and describes in detail how the airport sucks from lack of efficiency in the passport lanes. 

I’ve seen every single passenger of every single plane that landed in the last hour walking out of these gates but her.. 

In an attempt to make her laugh and cope with the inefficient lanes I tease her with a few jokes, such as “did you have too many coffees or is it good ol’Bertha?”. Bertha is the name of her PMS…. Response:

You’re brave.. 

Throat tightens, have I awakened the beast?..

I focus on the gate, she’s walking out any moment now. But wait a second, there is another gate which other people come out of.

If I stop looking for a split second she’s gonna walk out, and if I’m staring at the wrong door I’m gonna miss her! What should I do?

No time to think, phone beeps again “where are you?”

No way, she hasn’t walked out yet, I scanned every single person walking before my eyes. 

A dramatic scene is about to unfold here.. 

“I’m out, where are you?”

Mission failed, how could I have not noticed her walking out? She must have flown under the radar..

Phone rings :

– “Where are you?”

– “I’m standing by the gate waiting for you to walk out”.

– “I AM out” (describes where she is and it looks like exactly where I am too) 

– “Do you see this person with the welcome sign?”

– “Yes I’m right next to him!”

I managed to identify her (finally) as I walked towards the sign, and then it hit me. She is so tiny that I couldn’t see her before the guy’s sign was hiding her. 

I couldn’t see her walk out the gate because of her tininess. Someone walking beside her must have hidden her in a way that I couldn’t see.

That plus focusing on the joke making was a very efficient way to miss out on her..

So there is a tutorial if you ever wonder ‘how to miss your partner walking out of the airport’, results guaranteed. 

Bex

Yes, it was hilarious that he didn’t see me walk out, perhaps I walked too fast or was camouflage.

This just makes for another fun memory for us. Over the past few months I have learnt to open up to a man like I never have before, this is the power of both of us being vulnerable and totally surrendering to Love. Scary? Fuck yes. 

In a strange dynamic world, I have also had this dual experience happening where I have been grieving a marriage break up;  house move and sale; trying to manage on my own. But more importantly, trying to navigate a sad daughter and a pushing-the-limits son. The son is coming into his own a bit and I see him stretching his creative wings, his independence, and starting to trust himself that he is good and has good ideas. I am teaching him to Love himself and I’m teaching him that adults are people too. We make mistakes, we hurt, we grieve, we get back up. 

The daughter I’m trying to support with Love and fully accepting her journey, she finds it hard to accept the break up, and finds it hard to accept Lucas. This is obviously completely normal and understandable for a child. I sometimes feel as though I’m knocking on a glass door trying to reach her. I can see her, but not hold that little hurt spirit in a healing way. My intention is to continue to heal myself and to share all the Love and learning with her, and show her what it means to Love herself, by loving myself.

Lucas has good insight and we talk through everything, even when it’s confronting and painful, especially then…

And mostly I realise that he is the person I want to talk to the most.